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Tbolt

Boaty derp porn

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Me and the lovely Mrs Bolt went on a cruise recently, just a week, nothing too flash so don't be getting all excited.

We stopped briefly at a distasteful little place in Italy called Crotone, I say distasteful and the best comparison I can make is like being on a cruise to the U.K and they take you to Toxteth,

Now I've been to Toxteth with our resident snake who is more or less a local and even he was nervous!!!
So can you imagine how you would feel if you turned up there on your hols, in shorts and sandals with an expensive camera (well moderately) and a sunburnt leg?

Now you are getting the picture.

There was nothing touristy about this place at all (except us) but I was at least likely to find some derp, alas I did not and although stuff looked wrecked it was mostly occupied.

However right next to where we "parked the boat" (yes this is how Mrs Bolt refers to docking a 34,000 ton cruise liner) was this very odd boat derp.


There was no explanation for it and very few people seemed to notice it or care that it was there, but it was so I felt it my duty to bring it home with me and share it with you.

I did fleetingly consider asking the port authority chap about it but it was unlikley he would want to speak to the brexit contemplating English pig dog with his sunburnt leg and would more than likely shoot me with his shiny Beretta 92 pistol take my camera and my sandals and give me a slap on my sunburn so I decided to take some pics and get back to the bar on the ship.

27577133035_994c0c276e_k.jpgDSC_3052 by

27478031092_9ddd27abf9_k.jpgDSC_3047 by

27577139825_b79124fe89_k.jpgDSC_3041 by

27523096066_488e57d118_k.jpgBoat Derp in Italy by

27485086291_62047b81f7_k.jpgDSC_3053 by

27280589910_a1a534b5bf_k.jpgDSC_3044 by

 

Our brief time in Crotone did at least teach me 3 things and I list them in order.

1, Never, ever go there again

2, Never, ever go there again in a boat or you will sink in the port with no explanation

3, Always listen to Mrs Bolt about sun cream because sunburn really hurts!

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Posted (edited)

This is fabulous and you should ALWAYS listen to Mrs Bolt (she is wise) 🤣

Edited by FunkyMuffin
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1 hour ago, FunkyMuffin said:

This is fabulous and you should ALWAYS listen to Mrs Bolt (she is wise) 🤣

She is wise. 

Most of the time. 

She wasn't wise on Tuesday though, not at all. 

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12 hours ago, Tbolt said:

She is wise. 

Most of the time. 

She wasn't wise on Tuesday though, not at all. 

Ooh errr, just what did she do on Tuesday? Burn dinner, forget your birthday?

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She made us stop on a boat for a night (supposed to be 2)

I just don't get why people like boats tbh, I mean they are excellent if you are one side of a river and wish to be on the other or if you were alive 200 years ago and had to go to Spain from Norway but now we have aircraft they just seem a bit dated for that tbh, but I will never ever understand why the feck you would want to live or even sleep on one if you didn't need to, I mean you wouldn't book a holiday with the intention of sleeping in say....... a truck would you or a car or prop yourself up on a motorbike? So why would you sleep on a boat? Qe2 I can see but a boat? 

Anyway after one night she realised I was infinitely more knowledgeable about the shitness of boats so we found somewhere else that didn't float. 

 

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56 minutes ago, FunkyMuffin said:

I don’t see her making that mistake twice 😂

She wont

I beat her to a pulp with a cravat, smothered her in garlic and made her eat olives for 20 minutes. 

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